What happens to me?
I will just get the worried, anxious feeling in my chest and then I will have an attack. It always attacks me at night, I hit myself a lot. I do punch my body lol. I overthink about everything a lot.
Right now, I am doing my license. The night before my class, I cannot sleep. I always go to bed at 4am and I have to wake up at 6am. I cannot stop thinking about "what if".
"What if I fail the test?"
"What if my father has to paid for me to repeat the test?"
"What if it attacks me during my test?"
Before my class starts, I always have butterflies in my stomach. I cannot stay still. I pinch my fingers. My boyfriend saw my scars on my hand. I did it.
Last night, I got attacked. I hit myself on the wall. I cried because I am worried "what if" and I have so many negative thoughts.
Tomorrow I have to go to my driving class, I really hope I will be okay. I really hope.
3 guys please leave your comment
hey, how're u doing now? how was the test? have you get any treatment from doctor? if not, even though it's the best option not everyone have full courage to come upfront. i know. so just make sure you talk to someone. even if you don't want to talk, just keep yourself companied okay. you may come to my blog and mess up with the comment box or anything. just find something to distract yourself. yes, it's hard, hard and harder. but worth the fight cos that's life. 5 years are too long. this comment may can't even beat that. just wanna you know, i'm concern =)
ReplyDeletehai, im doing okay. I belum test lagi because i asik tangguh sebab i takut :'). I tak pernah get any treatment because im afraid. I overthink "what if" - i overreact je ke or apa-apa lah. but its okay. Thats why, i start blog balik after a long break to distract myself. Thank you for your concern, lots of love and may Allah bless you ♥
Deletefinally got to see your reply. i was waiting but then turn out busy with my studies. may Allah bless you too ♥
ReplyDeleteThank you for existing.